Midseason Rankings: A Visual Basis IV

Welcome once again to the visual basis evaluations. I guess these are the 7th and 8th I've done. For today, I'm sticking with one organization, the Pittsburgh Pirates. Analysis, as always, is based on the results of a google image search for each player. Greater detail regarding the process and the accuracy of such a system can be found here: http://yourteamsuxmineisrad.blogspot.com/2013/06/mid-season-rankings-visual-basis.html

The Steel City has long been known as a football powerhouse, but the Pirates have been a pretty lackluster pro sports team for quite some time.  Not since the days of a skinny Barry Bonds and a youngish Jim Leyland has Pittsburgh seen a team with very much talent. That has changed in the last couple years. Here are two up and comers for the Pirates.



Gregory Polanco

At this point last year if you mentioned the name Gregory Polanco to the average Pirates fan they would take a moment to correct you and say, "No, Placido Polanco plays for the Phillies, that team on the other side of our ridiculously large state."  Not so anymore. Sometime in the last twelve months this gentleman has rocketed to the top of the Pirates prospect list, and for good reason.

Let's get started with one of those not often talked about saber stats that will make your calculator friendly cohorts bust a load into their pocket protectors. It's the Polanco Cranial Scale (PoCS). There are three simple requirements for the measurement of this particular stat.

1. Your last name has to be Polanco
2. You have to play baseball
3. You have to have a head

Gregory meets these three categories, as do 23 other professional baseball players (Yes, 23, and if I get ambitious I'm going to break down all 23 Polancos on the PoCS stat. I rarely get ambitious.).

It should come as a surprise to absolutely no one that the leader and man all others seek to measure themselves against on this list is none other than Mr. Placido Polanco himself. Noggin girth, while crucial, isn't the only cranial statistic that matters when measuring one for the scale, and I'd love to share the full scientific

Placido Polanco's big fat head

process with you, but it's ridiculously complicated. Some might even say there really are no set rules or criteria for the list. Without getting into too much detail, I can say they are wrong. Let's just say it's a series of precise measurements involving bubble tape, peanuts, Jon Kruk, and a step ladder.

So, Placido is the baseline. A career .300 hitter with an above average OBP isn't a bad benchmark. Players can rate out somewhere between PoCS +10 or -10 depending on their individual measurements. Gregory measures out at a +7 which is currently the highest PoCS rank of any Polanco to play the game.

There are two absolutely stand out factors from the above photo that, when combined with an excellent PoCS score push Gregory into the upper echelon of prospects.

First, we have the knee high sock/ short pants combo. It is a fine indicator of speed and directly correlates to a high OBP (This is based on a quick analysis Nate Silver executed on the back of a cocktail napkin while enjoying a drink on the evening of the 2012 Presidential election. Legend has it, he came to the conclusion right around the time Fox News "expert" Karl Rove was losing his shit on live television). There are of course outliers like Brandon Inge, but Polanco lacks the douchebag Ed Hardyesque arm tattoos that undoubtedly eradicated what little talent Brandon Inge ever had for getting on base.

Secondly, he appears to be wearing what looks an awful lot like a bowling glove. I'm not sure why this is a plus, but I just feel it in my bones. Like a salmon knows to return to the spot it was born to spawn, Gregory's batting glove knows how to guide him around the bases in an effective, efficient manner.

In summation, High PoCS, socks, bowling.  Polanco has the stuff.



Alen Hanson

A few things come to mind when I think of this shortstop phenom in the Bucs system. First off, even though the Pirates have one of the best teams in baseball this year, I couldn't tell you who their starting shortstop is. This tells me he must suck. So, even though Hanson is presently at high A, you should expect to see him in the Steel City pretty soon.

For you traditional stat people I can say he hits for average, and has speed. I think he's stolen 300 bases so far this year. He possess the kind of talent that when he's not playing they have to store him in an underground concrete bunker, as evidenced by the picture above. This has earned him the nickname, "The Warhead".

He certainly seems to have grasped the fundamentals of the television interview. Arms crossed, serious look on his face. I'm sure he's taken the Crash Davis course on how to speak to the press. It's not something a lot of young high A players have a handle on, and it allows him to focus more on other parts of his game, like stopping anything that is hit on the ground to the left side of the infield. Reports coming out of (insert name of tiny hamlet where the Pirates high A affiliate plays here, accompanied by clever mascot based on a regionally relevant industry/animal/pastime) say that the guy who plays third usually brings out a lawn chair to play defense.

Imagine how good he could've been if his first 8 seasons didn't look like this.

The sweatband coordination is also a strong indicator of talent. It shows he can accessorize appropriately, and if you ask anybody who had the misfortune of wearing a Padres uniform in the seventies they'll tell you
to what extent not looking good can hamper your game.

Those cross arms and that stance just scream that he has a kinetic energy waiting to be unleashed. Like he's the lovechild of Rickey Henderson and FloJo.  I expect him to be a solid hitter in the majors and should probably steal 120 bases as a rookie.