Then Hicks flirted real hard with the mendoza line for awhile, and never quite put it all together. So, I took down the streamers, shut off the music, and cancelled the strippers. My victory would have to wait for another day, and the preparation for that day begins now.
Today, I begin evaluating top prospects individually as they're graded by Jonathon Mayo of MLB.com. Full disclosure here: I have no idea who Jonathon Mayo is. I don't know his credentials. Honestly, his top 100 prospect list is the first that popped up in a search. Maybe he used to walk Bud Selig's dog and was the one guy who could always get it to shit on a regular basis. So, old Bud asks him what he wants to do one day, and Jon replies, "I think I really wanna write, man. You know? Really, just, WRITE". So, Air Bud hands him the gig. He could also be some wicked smart Bill James type dude who knows a ton, and writes well. He could be a little bit of both.
Anyway, let's get to business here. The number one guy on the list is Byron Buxton. I'm not gonna write about Buxton. I know, he's totes rad and all that other shit, but I've already written about him to some extent in Hicks Buxton: The God Article. I think that takes care of him, mostly. So, I'm gonna cover Oscar Taveras.
I should probably remind you of my system, and inform you that I've tweaked it a bit. Bored it out for a little more speed, if you will. I have a highly classified system that was given to me by the baseball gods late one October evening when I mixed one of Harry Carray's hairs with some of Vin Scully's saliva, and activated the mixture with Ernie Harwell's voice. I was given a gift. The gift of prospect analysis through google image search. Hey, I didn't ask for this, but I got it. So, I'm gonna use it.
On to Oscar.
Let's open with this photo. Oscar looks pretty confused. I was confused too. I took a look at his stats from this last season in AAA, and his overall minor league stats as they're listed in Mr. Mayo's article. The stats show me a guy who hits for good average, but I wasn't seeing what was so great, and then when you read the profile they have for him. Sweet baby Jesus. They make this kid sound like he's other worldly. Maybe that photo above isn't him looking confused in an "I don't get baseball" kind of way. Maybe it's his reaction to being compared to Albert Pujols and Yadier Molina in the first 35 words of Mayo's description. I don't know. It could be either.
Taking a quick stroll over to Fangraphs and getting a more in depth look at him, he had a pretty legitimate "Holy Shit" AA season in 2012. At 20 years old, this kid tuned up double-A pitching en route to a .321 average, 23 Home runs, 37 doubles, and 7 triples with a .953 OPS. That's pretty impressive. He came back down to earth a bit in 2013, his first year at triple A. He still hit for average, but the power wasn't quite there, and he ended the season early with ankle surgery.
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| This photo is much less impressive when you realize this isn't his follow through, but his actual batting stance. |
I don't know what any of this means. Is he going to be a stud, is he going to be a dud? It's hard sayin'. So let's go to the photographic evidence. As you see above, he's got the follow through of a big swinger, or a big misser, but it doesn't look like Oscar or the other guy in the picture are staring wistfully off in to the distance at nothing, so I'd say hitter. He could also be using his left arm to point up in the air as if to say, "Hey, check out that towering fly-out to short right center I just hit. Can you believe how high that went? We should really get some sort of recognition for that. I can hit those all day." It's just too tough to tell what's really going on here. I'm gonna err on the side of optimism and guess that he's going to be able to produce offensively, as long as the torque of screwing himself into the dirt every at bat doesn't effect that recently repaired ankle.
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| It's called the Gold Glove, not the Gold Bare Hand. He's not gonna be winning one anytime soon. |
This next photo is the one that seriously concerns me. Mayo's break down focuses mostly on Taveras's bat, mentioning briefly that he has a strong arm and projects to play right field. Well, he'd better have a strong arm, because all the above photo tells me is that the guy doesn't use a glove. His defense is obviously suspect. I don't see him wowing anyone with his defensive prowess anytime soon, so I'm downgrading him in that department.
So overall we have a guy who is gonna hit fairly well, and play below average defense based, of course, on my highly technical analysis. There are a few other factors to consider here. Number one: is he currently on my fantasy baseball roster? No. Points against. Number two: When conducting my google image search, lost in a sea of Oscar Taveras photos up pops this one random shot of Meg Ryan.
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| Definitely not a tank |
What does this mean? I don't know, but it's weird. It doesn't make me feel good. When you're a young highly rated prospect and someone searches for you, the random picture that pops up should be...I don't know. You should be happy with photos of past players that have performed well, or maybe something that indicates strength or power, like a photo of a tank, or Denzel, or Axe body spray. Not Meg Ryan. I look at a picture of Meg Ryan and automatically think of the fake orgasm scene in the restaurant from When Harry Met Sally, and that my friends should not be something associated with the number 2 overall prospect for the major leagues.
I'm not saying Oscar's gonna suck, but based on all of my research, I don't think he's gonna be setting the baseball world on fire. I see a good average, some power, and poor defense. The Meg Ryan thing really killed him.
